Survivor's Guilt
Survivor's guilt is the shadow that follows a loss you walked away from: the constant replaying of what you could have done, the ache of being here when someone else isn't, the feeling that your own life somehow came at a cost. It is not a sign that you did something wrong; it is a sign of how much you loved, and how profoundly the loss has touched you. You are allowed to grieve and to live at the same time.
National Resource
Center for Complicated Grief: The Columbia University center leading research and clinical care for complicated grief, including the guilt, blame, and avoidance that can follow traumatic loss.
Recommended Reading
It's OK That You're Not OK by Megan Devine: A fiercely compassionate guide for people in the raw early stages of grief, speaking directly to the guilt, the blame, and the should-haves that survivors so often carry.
Listen
Terrible, Thanks for Asking: Nora McInerny's celebrated podcast where people share the messy, honest truth about grief, including the guilt and complicated feelings that come with surviving.
Grief & Support
Modern Loss: An award-winning community and publication where people share stories of loss, including survivor guilt, and find support that never asks them to perform grief correctly.
Currently in crisis?
If your grief has become a crisis, you feel unsafe, or you are thinking about harming yourself, immediate support is available.
The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week anywhere in the United States, free, confidential, and ready for anyone experiencing emotional distress or grief.
If this is a life-threatening emergency, call 911 immediately.